DoodleDuds Depot blog

From L.A. to TN...there ARE differences in the South...

2012-01-27T12:40:00.000-08:00

...so, I just went to my first "Neighborhood Watch" meeting...

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Merry Christmas...badaboo...and DOWAP!

2010-12-02T06:35:00.000-08:00

My favorite chuckle for the holiday season... if this doesn't get you into the holiday spirit, nothing will!
Now get out there and ... shop!

Copy this path, paste it in your browser, click and have a merry!!!
http://gpsinformation.info/main/merryxmas.swf

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Survival Guide for the Clueless

2009-05-18T06:22:00.000-07:00

I HAD to pass this on.
Guys...please commit to memory.
gals...stop laughing...you know it's true.

EIGHT WORDS WOMEN USE
Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, THIS MEANS HALF AN HOUR.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Nothing: Warning! Warning! This is the calm before the storm.
This means something, and you should be on your toes.
NOTE! Arguments that begin with NOTHING usually end in FINE.
Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. DON'T DO IT!
Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
That's Okay: THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS STATEMENTS A WOMAN CAN MAKE TO A MAN. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
Thanks: A woman is thanking you, DO NOT QUESTION, or faint. Just say you're welcome.
This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'...trust me.

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Taxpayers: Choking on Pork

2009-03-11T19:52:00.000-07:00

Get out your calculators and burn the numbers 'cause the taxpayer is on the hook: With interest, the Stimulus Package that just went through exceeds 1.6 trillion dollars...and we get the bill! That's $80,000 per household in new taxes to pay for this monstrosity and now we're hit with a staggering budget (do I smell even more taxes?)

It appears our new US president has broken a campaign promise..."NO EARMARKS when I'm President".
...so what's with the over-8,000 earmarks in the stimulus package? Could Double-Speak be back in Washington?
UPDATE: The current administration's deficit spending is ballooning. NOW, a family of 3 owes the federal government $116,155.39 in taxes.

Smile!...you've been porked.

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US Congress: The Tea Party's Over

2009-02-08T09:30:00.000-08:00

Looks like the concept of a "smarter administration" is evaporating faster than the last puffs from Louis Carroll's Caterpillar-hookah.
The U.S. economy is in a rabbit hole and, oddly, players in Washington bear a strange resemblance to the inhabitants in Wonderland.
Consider the construction of the Stimulous Package...more about "tea cakes and plum pies" (to the tune of a trillion dollars) than jobs and true recovery.

"...said the Mock Turtle with a sigh, 'I only took the regular course (in school).'
'What was that?' inquired Alice.
'Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock Turtle replied;
'and then the different branches of Arithmetic—AMBITION, DISTRACTION, UGLIFICATION and DERISION.'

Yep! That explains it... our Congressional leaders attended school with the Turtle.

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2009: I Will

2009-01-24T21:01:00.000-08:00

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Desiderata, Max Ehrmann, Copyright 1927.

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Celebrating History: Barack Obama

2008-12-05T05:37:00.000-08:00

A sincere thank you to all my customers.
The response to my Barack Obama design is overwhelming.
I'm keeping it available for any and all who wish to celebrate the upcoming inauguration of President Obama.
Wishing our new president... wisdom in all things.

Obama09 by pattigrafx
Get tshirts on Zazzle
Browse more Events Holidays Greetings T-Shirts

more BARACK OBAMA PRODUCTS

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Holiday Baking: Pie Crust for Dummies

2008-12-04T19:49:00.000-08:00

When it comes to baking, I like easy and yummy..and nothing in between.
I hated making pie crusts from scratch but I didn't like the premade-store-bought crusts.
In desparation I tried this recipe and I've never looked back...it's a winner.
This pie crust is wonderful..tasty, flaky AND it can be rolled and rerolled without getting tough!! Don't let the ingredients scare you. It works!

This recipe makes 4 single pie crusts or 2 double-crust pies AND you can freeze the dough up to 6 months! It keeps in the frig for a week so you can make it ahead of time too.

SUPER-DUPER PIE CRUST
4 c. all-purpose flour
1 tsp. white sugar
2 tsp. salt
1 3/4 c. CRISCO (don't substitute)
1 tsp. white vinegar
1 egg
1/2 c. ice water
1) Place flour, sugar, salt in a bowl.
2) Add Crisco. "Cut" into dry ingredients with pastry blender or fork (don't use your fingers).
3) In a separate small bowl, whisk together vinegar, ice water and egg. Slowly add this mixture to the flour mixture, blending with a fork.
4) When blended, pat dough into a ball. Divide into 1/4ths and pat into 4 individual balls. Wrap each dough-ball in plastic wrap.
Refrigerate for 30 minutes.
Time to rock and roll, roll, roll...flour up and
Let the baking begin!

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Sarah Palin...meet Gloria Steinem

2008-09-08T08:52:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading Gloria Steinem's op-ed piece from the L.A.Times.
I couldn't stop laughing.
If "frothing-at-the-mouth" is a prerequisite for critical thinking, Ms. Steinem is a very deep thinker.

Ms. Steinem writes, "...Palin shares nothing but a chromosome with (Hillary) Clinton."... as if this were an insult.
How ironic. Sarah Palin represents the epitome of the "feminist ideal"... capable woman, in the work force, working mother, succeeding in a "man's world" through use of her talent, grit and fortitude.
On the other hand, Ms. Clinton has risen to prominence by standing on the shoulders of a man (her husband) in order to reach her goals. Not quite the "feminist ideal". What was it Ms. Steinem once said?..."a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"...can't prove it by Hillary.

Ms. Steinem continues:
"...she (Palin) believes creationism should be taught in public schools..."
Is anyone tired of this old nugget?
The anti-intellectualism of this statement is staggering.
Reasonable people can throw out religion and politics in this discussion and ask the question, "What's the problem with offering our kids the learning experience of comparative analyses of 2 competing theories? If this were the Middle Ages, Steinem and her ilk would be charter members of the Flat Earth Society (the don't-confuse-me-with-another-theory group).

And I gagged on this one::
"American women... suffer more because of having 2 full-time jobs than from any other single injustice..."
Well, step up to the plate, Ms. Steinem, 'cause it's YOU and the "feminist movement" who insisted on and encouraged women to abandon the home, drop their kids in day-care with strangers and work outside the home. And women listened. They swamped the work force...AND LOWERED WAGES. duh!

It seems the Feminist Movement, today, is nothing more than cliche.
Today's heterosexual women are rejecting the radical elements of militant feminism. They are successfully blending the less radical with the traditional... it's called "being happy".
Ms. Steinem, meet Sarah Palin.

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Global Warming: Don't Exhale

2008-06-22T11:19:00.000-07:00

I have a solution to Global Warming.
Just so you know, I'm doing my level best. I work on my computer by candlelight, fry my bacon using only the sun and buried my car in the backyard. Of course, my houseplants died and my garden is withering...guess they miss all my CO2 emissions...oh well, what's a plant in the greater scheme of things other than a source of oxygen?
And there's STILL global warming?

It's time to get tough and go after the REAL culprits.
There's just too many folks breathing way too much.
Those CO2 emissions have got be curbed!

So, I propose a GASP TAX.
A simple, punitive tax backed up with strong environmental regulations to let these folks know we mean business.

1) Ban all activities that promote "heavy breathing". These include "mating", jogging and Pilate workouts.
2) Next, create a bloated federal agency from which to buy Gasp Tax Credits. If you're really so selfish that you MUST sculpt your abs or run that extra mile, then you should pay.
3) Senior citizens, like me, are exempt from the Gasp Tax but subject to a hefty "methane-emission-tax" on occasion.

I, for one, will set aside a special time each day to hold my breath and meditate on the facts supporting global warming...should be about 2 seconds. It's the least I can do.

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Environmentalists, PseudoScience and the OOPS Factor

2008-04-29T09:52:00.000-07:00

So, the co-founder of Greenpeace has quit.
Patrick Moore has left the building... uh huh.
He's fed up with his fellow compatriots who, without any formal science training, seek to manipulate us "unenlightened" with misinformation, skewed facts and fear rather than true science. Moore has had enough of "pop-environmentalism".

So, what's the big deal? Even if the "environmentalists" are wrong, surely they've done us a great service...they've made us more "aware" and we're saving the earth.
The question is, what are we REALLY aware of and what earth are we saving?
Case in point:
The environmentalists brought us that wonderful fuel additive, MTBE. Our premier pseudo-scientists (Barbara Boxer and Al Gore come to mind) rallied against the big oil companies and put their foot down on behalf of humanity and wow! Air pollution be gone!

THE OOPS FACTOR: a "think-again moment"
1) MTBE is sludge. Since Methyl Tertiary Butyl Ether is a toxic waste, Shell, Exxon, Unocal, Texaco, Valero, Mobile, Chevron etc. etc. devised a way to reintroduce this sludge back into the gasoline and profit from it rather than bear the financial burden of its disposal.
2) MTBE actually increases, not decreases, nitrogen oxide in the air, thus contributing to smog. It also increases the release of aldehydes and ketones..2 known carcinogens (I love the smell of formaldehyde in the morning.)
3) We now know that as early as the 1980s, these petrochemical companies knew that MTBE is water seeking and water soluble, rendering water undrinkable from the smallest concentrations...and, because it's highly soluble, it's almost impossible to clean up. This sludge is currently in the process of contaminating our ground water, our reservoirs, our lakes, rivers and wells.

4) And here's the kicker (I love this one)...when there's no drinkable water left and folks demand that the oil companies clean up the water sources they contaminated with MTBE...they can blame the government for MAKING them use the additive...and we, the taxpayer, pay the freight. OOPS!

Now you know. Make a statement with a tee...and start the conversation.
IT ISN'T EASY BEIN' GREEN

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Parenting girls: The Princess Cult

2008-03-22T07:36:00.000-07:00

I don't know how it happened.
I don't know WHEN it happened.
Like the phantom gnome who steals socks from the dryer...why do they do that?..noone saw it coming.

Oh, yes! the signs were there...the sudden interest in anything pink (preferably, with sequins). Those clandestine visits to forbidden drawers and mommy's closet where shiny things lurk. Imaginary friends who're suspiciously mouselike. And, yes, insisting that plastic pumps are an important accessory to pajamas...the signs were all around...the Princess cult has found my granddaughters! It could happen to you...

My advice. Don't sweat the fun things.
There are skills to be learned...like
Fashion coordination. Afterall, glass slippers DO go with everything. Sequins for the office...maybe not.
And management training...tea parties a specialty.
Use of tools (wands come to mind).
And the love of creative play.

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A Heads Up on Flaming Squirrels

2008-03-06T07:02:00.000-08:00

In case you didn't know, a squirrel with its tail on fire is not a pretty sight.
In fact, a squirrel with a smoldering tail and running through your house is worse than not a pretty sight.
Far be it from me to complain but these furry chimney-squatters sure have a nerve! I light a fire in MY fireplace and HE's mad at me!!
Does anyone know if squirrels hold a grudge?

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Tennessee Tornado:To pee or not to pee. That is the question.

2008-02-08T20:14:00.000-08:00

They say, in a house fire, the first thing you grab is the photo albums.
Well, I had a house fire and I grabbed the kids and the dog. It never entered my mind to grab the photo albums. Panic makes clear-thinking a premium.

So...2 days ago...warning sirens blare...gotta hurry, get to cover. And there we are...hunkered down in the pitch-black basement with flashlights and frightened puppies and our trusty transister radio, waiting for the twister.
They say, in a tornado, stay away from windows, cover yourself from flying debris, head for lower ground and stay there for hours until it passes. And I gathered the family albums instead of visiting the bathroom...big mistake.

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Spare Me the Hollywood Intullektualz

2008-01-11T11:59:00.000-08:00

Is there anyone in the "Hollywood left" who ever passed the 3rd grade?
Does anyone who carries a SAG card know a smidge about US history?
I have my doubts.

Indignantly pecking her keyboard, Roseanne Barr, noted Hollywood type, has publicly chastised Oprah Winfrey for her support of Barack Obama over Hillary Clinton in the US presidential race.
But, most interestingly, Ms. Barr accuses Ms. Winfrey of being a "closet Republican"...egads! the supreme insult!
So, let's get the record straight...for the Hollywood types who have never read a history book. Here's a starter:

1) the slave-owners were DEMOCRATS
2) the slave states were DEMOCRATIC states.
3) The DEMOCRATS never gave up. Calhoun, noted DEMOCRATIC leader and orator, championed proportional representation in Congress. Why? To acquire more political power for DEMOCRATIC slave-owners.
4) The REPUBLICAN party was created to end slavery.

Regarding one state, Alabama in 1867, as an example:

"Another meeting to arouse interest in the formation of the Republican party in Alabama was the Freedmen's State Convention, held in Mobile on May 1, 1867, under the direction of General Swayne. Black citizens at the convention issued a series of resolutions and proclaimed themselves part of the Republican party because this was the only party to attempt to extend the Negroes' priveleges. They intended to participate in future politics in the state in a free manner, not as "political tools of their employers"
Source: The Scalawag in Alabama Politics, 1865-1881, Sarah Woolfolk Wiggins

Come on, Ms. Barr...if you're gonna insult someone don't give 'em a compliment.

As for the "woman thing"... the ENTIRE country has moved on...time to catch up, Hollywood.

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I Resolve Not to Resolve

2007-12-29T15:51:00.000-08:00

I don't make New Year's resolutions.
At my age, I may not have the time to break them.
Each New Year I make a list of resolutions I have no intention of keeping. That way I'm ahead of the game from the start.

My New Year's Resolutions I Have No Intention of Keeping:

1. I will really, really worry about stuff I can't spell...like flem.
2. I will become a better cook. Is possum "the other white meat"?
3. I will lose 10 lbs. regardless of the fact that I hyper-ventilate when I lose ANYTHING...car keys, eye-glasses. Who knows how I'll react...can't wait to see.
4. I will learn to love and fondly embrace alien life-forms...like tofu.
5. I will learn a useful second language. My first choice is Latin.

Let the New Year begin!

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Christmas Tequila Cake

2007-12-14T21:45:00.000-08:00

If you couldn't find your recipe for this all-time favorite holiday treat...here it is!

Christmas Tequila Cake

1 cup sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1 cup water
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle tequila
2 cups dried fruit

Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is sstill OK. Try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck iin the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the fruit up off the floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.

Check the tequila.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.

Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.

Cherry Christmas! or whatever.

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Holiday Wishes to you...do wah again...

2007-12-10T07:32:00.000-08:00

Click if you need some holiday cheer
Eye...yi...yi...yi...may all your Christmases be wonderful.

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What Women Want: Psychiatrically speaking

2007-11-06T10:38:00.001-08:00

For your consideration:
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of man a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating, menopausal or delivering a child, she tends to be more attracted to a man with a spear lodged in his chest and tape over his mouth while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

Speaking of psychiatry...looking for a great holiday gift or that peculiar something only bodacious folks wear? Take a gander at this humorous holiday collection for the whole family: Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

Or visit the DoodleDuds Depot. Witty art t-shirts and more. Unique gifts.

Sioux or Sue?

2007-10-27T10:14:00.000-07:00

Well, it's happened AGAIN. An American Indian tribe is peeved. A sports team used a tribal name for tons of years and folks in that tribe have recently worked themselves up to offended. Now the team must come up with a new name or face the wrath of the PC crowd (and lawsuits).

For what it's worth, I'm part Cherokee.
I know the history of the Cherokee nation in this country and, somehow, "American Indian" and "super-sensitive" strike me as a contradiction in terms. It's hard for me to imagine my ancestors enduring the tribal life style of endless migrations to hunting grounds, brutal weather conditions, frequent hunger, marauding predators, invading settlers, the March of Tears etc., etc....and prone to hurt feelings.

One thing crosses my mind, though...maybe Custer would have been victorious at the Little Big Horn had he used harsh words instead of guns...who knew?

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Parenting: Disciplining Southern style

2007-10-03T05:30:00.000-07:00

True story.

My husband made an unplanned visit to the hospital as a patient. During a vigil at his bedside, he dropped into a deep drug-induced sleep. I decided to take a break.
I made my way to an outdoor area to soak in the sunlight and shake out the kinks in my sore tush...lots of sitting does that to me. A couple of women were already there, deep in conversation.

Woman 1: "My daughter is raising a bunch of brats...!"
Woman 2: "Amen, sister! Got the same problem..."
Woman 1:"...no manners, no nuthin', just lip!"
Woman 2: "I hear you..."
Woman 1: "I watch my grandkids 3 times a week. "While back, the oldest..he's 8...'bout gave me a heart-attack."
Woman 2: "Oh, no..."
Woman 1: "Yep, he was acting up all day. I finally had it. Next time he sassed me I gave him a good swat on the BEhind..."
Woman 2: "And?"
Woman 1: "...next thing I know he grabs the phone! 'What you doin'? I asked him.
'I'm callin' 911,' he says. 'I'm telling them you're child-abusin' and I want an ambulence.' "
Woman 2: (audible groan)"Oh, my gosh! What did you do?!!!"
Woman 1: "I tole him, 'Then you better talk fast, cause by the time they get here you're gonna NEED an ambulance.'
Haven't had no sass for 2 weeks."

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DoodleDuds Depot Online Store: Attitudenal

Parenting: Prepare for the unxpected.

2007-09-07T13:00:00.000-07:00

My son planned a delightful lunch-get-away with his daughter.
The plan was to enjoy the pizza and entertainment and the kids and noise at a nearby popular eatery. Too cool!!...just Dad and she!
All went according to schedule, including the wide-eyed anticipation of a 2 1/2yr old embarking on a thrilling adventure...too cool...just Dad and me!

All was perfect...until...the stage show began...the loud speakers blared at a deafening volume as the floor rumbled beneath their chairs, the lights dimmed to a deepening darkness and a 6 ft dancing rat appeared on stage.

My son informs me that a 2 1/2yr old can shriek in terror louder than eardrum-rupturing loud speakers.
Further, and most likely, she's indelibly imprinted with an unnatural fear of rodents for the rest of her life.

Ahhhhhh parenting.

FOOTNOTE: I tackled this subject a while back with a tongue-in-cheek t-shirt design for kids Clowns Scare Me
Also available in Women/Girls sizes.

And, thank you, New Jersey Star Gazette for mentioning Clowns Scare Me in the Life Style section of your newspaper.

Unicorn t shirt tres chic

2007-07-28T10:48:00.000-07:00

Just added some new products to the DoodleDuds Depot online store.

The Unicorn has always been a fascination to me so I figured, what-the-hey, gonna add one to my shop. T shirts, hoodie, sweatshirt, tanks and more. All products can be personalized so

Check it out in the Women/Girls Section

Need a special gift for someone who loves Unicorns?
Check out the Fun Stuff Section for a unique wall clock and mousepad...too fantasyastic!

They're at War

2007-07-07T18:31:00.000-07:00

Is it just me? Am I imagining a disconnect between the war in Iraq and the American psyche? Could the reason be we haven't sacrificed as a people for this war? Let me explain.
We Americans are steeped in the parochial concept that "anything worthwhile demands sacrifice".
The nation suffered at home during WWII. Rationing, shortages, joblessness. Communication was laborious and families countrywide altered their life styles to accommodate sons and fathers, mothers and daughters who were fighting in a foreign land for years.
My dad was mired in the horror of landing at Normandy and fighting in the Battle of the Bulge with the Army Corp of Engineers. I didn't see him in the flesh until I was 4 yrs. old. But that's what you did...a small sacrifice. My mom and I ate potato soup when money ran out at the end of the month. I recall her ritual of ceremoniously adding the last piece of rationed butter she had set aside for weeks for our month-end meals...a small sacrifice but that's what you did.
The war effort sent our mothers and sisters to factories and assembly-lines...and that's what you did...a small sacrifice.
But this war is different. It seems we, the people, are spectators.
They're at War and we're at the mall.

Want a Social Commentary tee to wear? They're at War

Woman vs. Wild

2007-06-18T05:47:00.000-07:00

It's a fact. The idea of "survival in the wilds" turns my knees to jelly. I'm just not a "back-to-nature" kinda gal. If God wanted me in the forest, I'd been born in a nest. Frankly, my idea of "roughing it" is stiff towels at the Holiday Inn.

Still, I'm addicted to the tv series Man vs. Wild and Bear Grylls is my hero.
While I can hardly survive a sale at Macy's, I'm now confident (I took notes during the telecasts)) that I have sufficient knowledge to follow in Bear's footsteps.
I know I could survive such trifles as being stranded in the French Alps with only a butter knife or alone in the Florida Everglades for 5 days (not all those snakes are poisonous, after all).

I now know crocodiles like Italian food (and I'm half Italian). I know to wear sensible shoes next time I cross my local lava field (tennis shoes catch on fire), that termite dung is my friend and turtle tastes like chicken.

But, you'll never get me to eat a grub!...too sour.

C02 and You

2007-05-26T13:51:00.000-07:00

O.K. Put on your thinking caps. I'm going to challenge your assumptions...based on science.

Consider this: Leading "global-warming " scientist and activist Claude Allegre has done a 360° turn-about. A renowned geochemist, PHD in physics (among other science stuff) and, egads!! architect of isotope geodynamics, Allegre has fessed up publicly. After billions of dollars for research by scientists "climate models failed dismally in establishing man-made cause of global warming". The evidence points to natural causes. (Now, who woulda thunk it?)

On the other hand, leading pseudo-scientist, Al Gore, says that man-made C02 emissions are causing global warming. Did Mr. Gore skip Science101? C02 doesn't cause heat, heat causes C02. Could it be that all the hot air from pontificating pols is really the cause of rising C02 levels?
And mucking things up further, how about that Clean Air Act? All-knowing politicians may not have considered that sulphate aerosols actually cool the lower atmosphere. By drastically reducing such emissions their cooling effect is negated...ahhh, where are those sulphates when you need them?

I'm not suggesting anything, merely pointing out that politicians are politicians and shouldn't try to be scientists...especially when they don't know their material.

Just give us the facts...we're not as dumb as politicians...or as dumb as politicians think we are.

Want a STOP GLOBAL WHINING t shirt? GO SHOP

A Jimmy Piersal Moment

2007-05-08T16:49:00.000-07:00

I love baseball.
I'm old enough to remember the "greats" and, as a former UAL stewardess back in the sixties, lucky enough to have crossed paths with many of them.

Jimmy Piersal crossed my path on a trip from NY to L.A. back in those days. Perhaps best known from the Hollywood movie Fear Strikes Out which chronicled his battle with bipolar disorder, Jimmy Piersal was an outstanding center fielder for the Boston Red Sox ending his career with the L.A. Angels.

Piersal will be remembered for many reasons...his brawl with Billy Martin, his wild antics on the baseball field, his homeruns and, I hope, this wonderful quote:

HOW TO DIAPER A BABY
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.

I Bought These Crayons, I Own Them

2007-03-30T08:33:00.000-07:00

Usually, this blog is not a "rant ranch". Today is an exception.
Question: Have educators in the state of Washington had a "group lobotomy" or are they just on Prozac?

Case in point:
Legos were temporarily banned (and later reinstated with specific usage rules) at a private school in Seattle.
Apparently, the teachers got their panties in a bunch over a discussion with the students regarding a "Legotown" project the kids had built. To their horror, these pinheads ascertained that the children had "incorporated their assumptions about private ownership which mirrored a class-based, capitalist society" into their Lego building...can life be so cruel??
SOOO...after first banning these subversive little tiles, the teachers will now allow their usage with special "collectivism" rules, i.e. "equal houses, standard sizes".

What's the matter with this picture?
Should creativity fall by the wayside to accomodate group-think and political correctness? If a kid wants to use a green Lego must he/she bend to the use of only red tiles because the group demands red tiles?

This is scary stuff.
What contempt these teachers must hold for their students. All those bright, shiny faces in a PRIVATE school...how inequitable! Methinks their parents can afford the hefty monthly tuition with thanks to the capitalist system.

A Final Word to These Educators: PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS.
Aren't you teaching in a PRIVATELY OWNED SCHOOL on PRIVATE PROPERTY? Since private ownership sticks in your craw, perhaps you need to give up this PRIVATELY OWNED stuff to the state...it's a Lego thing.

Fed Up? Share a Senior Moment

2007-01-23T13:41:00.000-08:00

This account was published in the New York Times. A 98 year old woman wrote this to her bank...gotta make us proud, fellow senior citizens!

Dear Sir,

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.

By my calculations, three 'nanoseconds' must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account £30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.
I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan payments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.

Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Solicitor, and the mandatory details of his/ her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.

I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:

1-- To make an appointment to see me.
2-- To query a missing payment.
3-- To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4-- To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5-- To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6-- To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7-- To leave a message on my computer (a password to access my computer is required. A password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact.)
8-- To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 8
9-- To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year.

Your Humble Client

The Tennessee Titans...Like a heart attack!

2006-12-25T07:51:00.000-08:00

O.K. I'm fessing up. I'm the Tennessee Titans #1 fan.
I take back all my grumbling when coach Fisher traded Steve McNair. My doubts that the Titans could whip themselves into a cohesive team without his leadership are beginning to fade.
Vince Young is for real! Pacman Jones is unreal! and Travis Henry is, simply, lightening in a bottle. To watch a Titan's game is to approach cardiac arrest...and they keep finding ways to win games. Who woulda thunk it?
Next season is gonna be a hoot.

Merry Christmas...Do Wa, Do Wa

2006-12-14T09:08:00.000-08:00

To all who participate in this annual conspiracy of love...a very happy holiday!
If you're frantic with shopping, frenzied by the rush and/or suffering from life's little meltdowns, STOP! Sit back, take a deep breath and go here:
A Christmas Moment
Wishing you time to love, to learn and to laugh this New Year.

A Loving Heart for kids

2006-10-30T10:14:00.000-08:00

O.K., folks. I'm overwhelmed by the many requests (2, actually) to share the entire text of A Loving Heart.
What's this?...you query.
Well, I combined two of my children's books into one publication...bigger bang for your hard-earned bucks...and double-fun to boot.
Plain and simple, I want you to buy this book and read it to your little ones. The two stories in CritterTales were constructed for a dynamic reading experience between parent and child...doorways to discussion, portals to learning fundamental ethics. You'll get it, just read on.

A LOVING HEART

What if tigers fit in paper bags?
And bugs had tails that they could wag...
And cats lived under the deep blue sea...
and fish could walk like you and me?
Suppose the rain fell upside-down
and white was blue and red was brown...
And cows could fly and bees could run
and roosters crowed when the day was done...
And trees grew up with knobby knees
and no one said a word like PLEASE
And no one hugged and no one shared
and no one said they really cared?
I wouldn't like it, this I know.
It's not a place I'd choose to go.
For things are as they ought to be...
And the very best is inside of me.

CritterTales is available now. "A Loving Heart" AND "The Trouble with Bunny" in one book! If you want to peek inside, visit
THE DOODLEDUDS DEPOT BOOKSTATION
Click here to PURCHASE CRITTERTALES

Full color illustrations on every page. 40 pages. 8.5"x11". Paperback book, perfect binding. $18.95
By the way, this stuff is copyrighted. Don't make me come after you with a big, bad lawyer. Any reproduction of text and/or graphics from "CritterTales", by any means, must be o.k'd by yours-truly. Grazie!

Marketing a Pixie

2006-10-12T10:33:00.000-07:00

Rumor has it that the folks at the Magic Kingdom will be offering a pricey Designer line of clothing that features Disney characters.
Now slap me upside the head, what bonehead decided they needed to grab even more money from the harried, weary parents who brave endless miles of walking, endless hours of whining and the endless request, "can I have that?" so their kids can have a day at the Magic Kingdom?

So, a Tinkerbell t shirt is $70.00? I may have straw in my ears but I'm not a turnip. I can recognize a good thing when I see it.

There's more than one pixie in the pixie-patch! And pricier too!
It's fire with fire! Check out Pixie Power

Edjukashun Aint What it Used to be

2006-09-14T06:12:00.000-07:00

The bad rap on the American educational system may be deserved. Grab a crayon and paper and try this.
What? Sample:Eighth-grade final exam
The year:1895

Grammar (time, 1 hr.)
1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.
2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications.
3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph.
4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of "lie,""play," and "run."
5. Define case; Illustrate each case.
6.What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.
7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.

Arithmetic (time, 1.25 hrs.)
1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3942 lbs., what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1050 lbs. for tare?
4. District No 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find the cost of 6720 lbs. coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. long at $20 per meter?
8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods?
10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt.

NOTE: Duration of total exam was FIVE HOURS. Questions also included US HISTORY, ORTHOGRAPHY and GEOGRAPHY.

taken from the original document on file at the Smokey Valley Genealogical Society and Library in Salina, KS, and reprinted by the Salina Journal.

Countdown to Hope: IRAQ

2006-09-04T09:43:00.000-07:00

Consider this:

Did you know there are more than 1100 building projects going on in Iraq?
They include 364 schools, 67 public clinics, 15 hospitals, 83 railroad stations, 22 oil facilities, 93 water facilities and 69 electrical facilities.
Did you know that 96% of Iraqi children under the age of 5 have received the first 2 series of polio vaccinations?
Did you know that 4.3 million Iraqi children were enrolled in primary school by mid October of last year?
Did you know that there are 1,192,000 cell phone subscribers in Iraq and phone use has gone up 158%?
Did you know that Iraq has an independent media that consists of 75 radio stations, 180 newspapers and 10 television stations?
Did you know that 47 countries have reestablished their embassies in Iraq?
Did you know that 3100 schools have been renovated, 364 schools are under rehabilitation, 263 schools are now under construction and 38 new schools have been built in Iraq?
Did you know that Iraq's higher educational structure consists of 20 Universities, 46 Institutes or colleges and 4 research centers, all currently operating

Regardless of one's opinions about the war in Iraq, our young men and women (and those of our allies) have committed themselves to the formation of a hopeful paradigm for Iraq...and they are succeeding.

A New Mousetrap for the HTML Code-Challenged

2006-07-20T07:11:00.000-07:00

Want to take the dive into ecommerce but afraid of sinking? Does all the rigamaroll and coding turn your knees to jelly? Been there...done that...and it can be daunting.
I ran across a little solution. I think it's cool.
O.K. You've staked out some space of your own on the web...your own web site, your own blog, page, whatever. Let's say (as an example) you've titled it The Wonderful World of Bunions. Great idea! Very informative! A burning topic! BUT! a little dull.
What if you could spice up your space with a gift shop offering products all about bunions and feet and corns...whatever you choose? AND you make a 20% commission on everything you sell.

There's a quick and easy way to sell the products you like with very little hassle. You don't need to purchase, install or code anything. AND you have complete control over what you sell.
Check out PrestoGifto
FYI: I have no affiliation with PrestoGifto. I just thought this was cool.

NOTE: If you decide to signup with CafePress and get your own PID number you can set up your Gift Shop thru' PrestoGifto and sell the products created by the CafePress merchants. There's hundreds of thousands of choices for you, including hoodies, sweatshirts, tshirts, onesies, framed prints, mousepads and more...you decide.
And, of course, any product at the DoodleDuds Depot Online Store is available for you to sell in your Gift Shop. All sales generate a 20% commission for you. Have fun...I know you will!

Why I Don't Believe in Evolution

2006-06-29T07:40:00.000-07:00

It seems to me the Theory of Evolution has fallen short in the grand scheme of things. Surely, after thousands of years, the human species qualifies for some serious, albeit random, biological transformation.
Why, after 150 years of Darwinism, is there no fossil of a "mom-homo-sapien" with an extra pair of arms, needs no sleep and has an SUV attached to her backside?
Where's the strand of DNA of "kid-homo-sapien" with receptors for long-distance communication or feet that stay the same size until adulthood? I'm not asking much. Please show me a hair sample of a new species of a grateful teenager...anything?
Is there a new species of "male-homo-sapien" (somewhere in the forests of the Pacific Northwest, perhaps?) with power tools for appendages but hasn't asked for directions out of the forest?
A word to our esteemed paeleontologists, geologists, biologists and other ologists: Stop looking for the "missing link". Talk to most women and they'll tell you they're married to one.
Surprise...same species.

Explaining myself

2006-06-06T12:52:00.000-07:00

O.K. Here's my Puzzlement
How did a major coffee establishment convince the world that a cup of coffee that tastes like a burnt sweat sock is worth paying a "king's ransom" to drink?
I know it's a little harsh. And, frankly, I admire Starbucks for inventing a "better mousetrap"....but, pullllleeeeeez!
I think I've figured out their pricing. They charge by the syllable. If a large cup of Caffe Latte is $3.40, that's 4 syllables at $.85 a syllable. Cappuccino is $3.40—4 syllables, $.85 a syllable. Who would have thunk it?...maybe, Starbucks?
In a moment of madness I created my first "PROTEST" tshirt design..."I'll have a Tuna Latte". (Lunch in a latte...4 syllables, $3.40...so much more for your money, don't you think?)
Check it out:Tuna Latte
Also available in the Mens/Boys section.

A Bone to Pick

2006-05-06T13:26:00.000-07:00

The issue of illegal immigration is on the minds of Americans.
Predictably, opposing sides squeeze their panties (or boxers) in bunches so tight no air gets to their brains.
Advocates for open borders and amnisty point their accusitory rhetoric and fire the same old mantra, "Illegal immigrants do work that Americans won't do". PUL-LEEEEZE!
My personal experience...as a kid I grew up in an agricultural state. I picked the fields...strawberries, cherries, beans. When teendom arrived, I graduated to the "big-time" and worked in the local cannery. I waited tables too...and gee whiz, all the time an American citizen.
In my adult life, I hired a housekeeper. She was an American citizen (and Spanish). Four times a month, Gracie helped me catch up with the stuff I didn't get to raising 3 boys. And, yes, she cleaned my toilets (American citizen that she is). We shared births and deaths and all the things in-between that 2 friends weather together. And when she was ill, I cleaned her toilets.
For the record, Americans can and will do any job.

One for your heart

2006-03-28T14:15:00.000-08:00

Every once in awhile I hear something that has to be passed on.
Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

"Nothing, I just helped him cry"

Thank you Marci.

Women and Paget's Disease

2006-03-13T10:48:00.000-08:00

Women, PLEASE be alert to anything that is not normal, and be persistent in getting help as soon as possible.
Paget's Disease: This is a rare form of breast cancer, and is on the outside of the breast, on the nipple and aureole. It appeared as a rash, which later became a lesion with a crusty outer edge. I would not have ever suspected it to be breast cancer but it was. My nipple never seemed any different to me, but the rash bothered me, so I went to the doctor for that. Sometimes, it itched and was sore, but other than that it didn't bother me. It was just ugly and a nuisance, and could not be cleared up with all the creams prescribed by my doctor and dermatologist for the dermatitis on my eyes just prior to this outbreak. They seemed a little concerned but did not warn me it could be cancerous.
Now, I suspect not many women out there know a lesion or rash on the nipple or aureole can be breast cancer. (Mine started out as a single red pimple on the aureole. One of the biggest problems with Paget's disease of the nipple is that the symptoms appear to be harmless. It is frequently thought to be a skin inflammation or infection, leading to unfortunate delays in detection and care.)
What are the symptoms?

1. A persistent redness, oozing, and crusting of your nipple causing it to itch and burn (As I stated, mine did not itch or
burn much, and had no oozing I was aware of, but it did have a crust along the outer edge on one side.)

2. A sore on your nipple that will not heal. (Mine was on the aureole area with a whitish thick looking area in center of nipple).

3. Usually only one nipple is effected. How is it diagnosed? Your doctor will do a physical exam and should suggest having a
mammogram of both breasts, done immediately. Even though the redness, oozing and crusting closely resemble dermatitis
(inflammation of the skin), your doctor should suspect cancer if the sore is only on one breast. Your doctor should order a biopsy of your sore to confirm what is going on.

My breast cancer has spread and metastasized to my bones after receiving mega doses of chemotherapy, 28 treatments of radiation and taking Tamaxofin. If this had been diagnosed as breast cancer in the beginning, perhaps it would not have spread...

FOOTNOTE:
In November, a rare kind of breast cancer was found. This woman developed a rash on her breast, similar to that of young mothers who are nursing. Because her mammogram had been clear, the doctor treated her with antibiotics for infections. After 2 rounds, it continued to get worse, so her doctor sent her for another mammogram. This time it showed a mass.
A biopsy found a fast growing malignancy. Chemo was started in order to shrink the growth; then a mastectomy was performed; then a full round of Chemo; then radiation. After about 9 months of intense treatment, she was given a clean bill of health.
She had one year of living each day to its fullest.. Then the cancer returned to the liver area. She took 4 treatments and decided that she wanted quality of life, not the after effects of Chemo. She had 5 great months and she planned each detail of the final days. After a few days of needing morphine, she died.
She left the above message to be delivered to women everywhere.

Thank you, Sarah, for the heads up.

I love Ben Stein

2006-03-03T18:34:00.000-08:00

This was sent to me in an email. The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS
Sunday Morning Commentary, Sunday, 12/18/05.

Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating
heart: I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on
the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits
and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They
never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change
my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they
so important? I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do not
care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.

Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a
subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are.

If this is what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.

Next confession:
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it
does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful
lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I
don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.
It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I
don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a
ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers
and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at
all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near
my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine
with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think
Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think
people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around,
period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an
explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I
don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we
should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship
God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too.

But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica
came from and where the America we knew went to.

Hibernating with Anne Rice

2006-02-06T14:49:00.000-08:00

These cold, gray winter days invite a time for restoration. Something for the mind and soul. And so, I've been hibernating.
Anne Rice makes me think. Her lean writing style, so packed with imagery, fit my mood.
I hunkered down, opened the book and lost myself in Palestine.
A wonderful read. Christ the Lord:Out of Egypt

What the heck is anti-Valentine's Day anyways?

2006-01-08T14:49:00.000-08:00

I haven't figured this one out yet.
We've set aside a special time of the year to celebrate romance and love and all that wonderful stuff that makes life worthwhile and along come the cynics...with anti-Valentine's Day.
So, begrudgingly, I offer one anti-Valentine t-shirt design at the DoodleDuds Depot online store for those of you who miss "bah, humbug" so soon after Christmas. Valentine's Day and anti-Valentine's Day Shirts

What's a nice girl like YOU doing in a place like this?

2005-11-26T12:19:00.000-08:00

If you're an artist or designer you might think designing t shirts is the last rung of the art ladder. For me, it's a blast! So how did I get to this place? Gotta a story to tell:
About 2 years ago I crossed paths with a mom and her kid while shopping at a major retail store. Cute kid, about 6, blue jeans... and t shirt with F_ _ _ y_ _ artfully constructed across the front.

I had this sudden urge to grab Mom in a head-lock and scream in her ear, "What were you thinking?" I was stunned. I went home, mad as a wet hen, and started surfing the internet. What sorta tee designs are out there for kids, I wanted to know. The answer: not much!

Maybe it's the grandma in me. Up front, I just don't like kids being used as patsies by over-priced designer label companies and mega-manufacturers. If our kids wear their logos shouldn't they pay us ? Afterall, it's advertising!

Secondly, I found a huge selection of GROSS. Those are t shirts with sentiments you find scrawled in men's rooms.

So, there you have it. I got mad!..decided to give folks another alternative...and DoodleDuds Depot was born.

KISS: keep it simple, stupid

2005-11-25T06:15:00.000-08:00

O.K. I'm sorta up and running with this blog. So what's the point. you ask?

This is a place for folks interested in kids and parenting, family and faith, books and art..is there anything else?

I'll be posting my ramblings and, hopefully, you'll come and visit for an occasional laugh and some food for thought. Comments from you, I love!

The blogging grandmother strikes!

2005-11-24T10:53:00.000-08:00

I'm taking the next step into the digital world of info, info and info. What a hoot! Bear with me, folks. I'm just setting up this blog and I haven't the faintest idea what I'm doing!